


Did you steal my time or steal my money?

by dinosaurus_maj



Series: Walking Into Disaster [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Grillby's Restaurant (Undertale), No Romance, One Shot, Platonic Relationships, Protective big bro Sans, Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader acts tough but is also soft, Reader is not entirely human, Russ is a soft boy, Swapfell Papyrus (Undertale), Swapfell Sans (Undertale) (mentioned), Underfell Sans (Undertale) (mentioned), Underswap Sans (Undertale) (mentioned), all the skellies live together and get along, because I wanted a wholesome sibling thing between them, but it's not a reverse-harem for once, idk why i wrote this, not beta read or proofread but I die like a wimp, reader and russ have no idea what they're doing, set in a timeline where sans screwed up with the machine, this turned out kinda weird I'm sorry, unless you call a weird mugging romantic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:54:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22388272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dinosaurus_maj/pseuds/dinosaurus_maj
Summary: After being forced outside by his newly-proclaimed big brother and other big brothers of the household, Russ finds himself in a bit of a bizarre situation.
Relationships: Papyrus & Sans (Undertale), Papyrus (Undertale) & Reader
Series: Walking Into Disaster [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1614091
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	Did you steal my time or steal my money?

**Author's Note:**

> I seriously have no idea why I wrote this other than the overwhelming desire to write this Reader and to have all the skellies get along for once (and also I love protective big bro SF/FS Sans and not-flirty Russ). There are bound to be typos and grammatical errors I'm sorry I couldn't be bothered to proof read. I might edit it in the future.
> 
> This was made just for fun but I don't mind some criticism :>

It was practically his first time at 'Grillby's'. His dread of meeting other monsters and humans combined with his brother's smothering prevented him from even setting foot out of the mansion. With the combined efforts of the other 'Sanses', though, he managed to sneak out of the house and experience the Surface outside of its walls and not just from a TV screen. Not to mention, Blue's insistence (and pestering) didn't allow him to use the excuse that he was just too lazy to go out.

He didn't think that anyone could outsmart his big bro, but not even half of a bottle of barbecue sauce later and Sans was chasing Red and Blue around the house, fully distracted from his charge. Vanilla had then grabbed his sleeve and shortcutted them to a pub--Grillby's.

Russ had felt uncertain of it at first. Remembering the Grillby from his Underground, this didn't seem like the best idea after all. But then, cheers erupted from the monsters all around them. Everyone was saying 'Hi' to Vanilla, cracking jokes and having good laughs. They were all very genuinely friendly towards him even before Vanilla told them that he was his 'cousin'.

It didn't seem like anybody... cared. They were all warm and cheery, a nice change from the death glares and stifling atmosphere whenever he walked into Muffet's back in his Underground. There, a lot of things mattered. Who you were friends (or siblings) with changed how people treated you. But not here. Here, instead of having to constantly watch your back and be careful with what you say or do so you wouldn't get dusted, you can just lay back, relax, and have a good time with your pals.

He followed Vanilla to the bar where he sat down and ordered. The menu was vastly different from Muffet's, which made sense. Greasy food was always more of Grillby's style. He ordered some fries and chatted with some monsters. Well, Vanilla did. He wasn't really comfortable enough yet to do more than just listen, make some puns and answer a few questions. It was surprising how easily they bought the 'cousin' thing.

He couldn't deny that he was enjoying himself. This was the best he felt in all his life. Having monsters immediately not try to dust him or just being polite to him was fun.

What had he been so afraid of all this time? This Alternate-Universe-Accident was probably the best thing that had ever happened to him and his brother.

They didn't have to fight anymore.

Right as he thought that, he caught the sight of something out of the corner of his eyesocket. Glancing back, he saw it. You. A human.

You were hard to spot in the crowd. But once he saw you, a single, tall human among monsters, you stuck out like a sore thumb.

He took a moment to just... look at you. Blue and Papyrus--Er, Vanilla's brother, uh, Cool Papyrus--had taught him that staring was rude, but he couldn't help himself. You were the first human--other than Chara and Frisk--that he had seen (not counting anime and the other stuff he'd seen on the TV back at the mansion).

He couldn't see much of you, just your hands and face. The rest of you was covered by a dark hoodie and a pair of ripped jeans. Your face was lit up by the light of the phone that you held in your hands.

He was curious about you. Looking around, he couldn't see any other humans, just you. What were you doing here, all alone?

Vanilla called his nickname, forcing him to tear his eyelights away from you. Dogamy had asked him something. He threw in a pun, the dogs laughed, and turned back to you again.

You stared back.

Only for half a second though, for when you noticed that you had been caught, you looked away immediately, pretending to have been fixated on your phone the entire time.

This went on several times. He'd look away, look at you again, catch you staring at him, and you'd pretend you weren't.

Something felt... off.

He turned to Vanilla and caught his attention.

"a human's starin' at me," he said.

Vanilla followed his gaze towards where you were sitting. He raised his browbones but otherwise didn't seem very concerned. He then turned away with a shrug.

"y'get used to it," Vanilla said simply, taking a sip of his ketchup.

Russ frowned, tapping his clawed phalanges on his bottle of barbecue sauce. No, he couldn't just 'get used to it'. Back in his Underground, ignoring stuff like this usually gets a monster dusted. Though the entire night had shown that things aren't like how they were back there, he couldn't let his guard down just yet. It could just be his paranoia talking, but paranoia was what kept him and Sans alive up to this point, and right now, it was telling him that something wasn't right.

He caught your gaze. This time, instead of turning away, you froze. His gaze remained locked with yours for a while longer before you stood up and walked out of the bar.

What in the--?

Before he knew it, he was pursuing you. Why? Because he was dumb. You were obviously luring him to... something bad. You were more likely dangerous than anything else--he had learned that it was always a lot safer to assume that from anyone else.

Despite that, he kept following you. He was overwhelmed with curiosity--What were you doing at Grillby's? Why were you staring at him? _Who are you?_

He didn't know how or why he could be hoping for answers following you into a dark and secluded alleyway.

Standing in the shadows of the dark alleyway, he exhaled an anxious breath. He peered into the darkness. There was no sign of you.

"hello?" he called out. His quiet voice was loud in the empty silence. He took another reluctant step deeper into the alley, shivers going down his spine.

What was he _doing_? Was he _trying_ to get himself dusted? Shaking his head, he clutched his skull and turned on his heel with a sigh. He froze immediately, staring back at you again, but this time with only mere inches between him and you.

Your eyes seemed to glow from beneath the hood of the dark cloak you now wore, as if your irises were like a skeleton's eyelights but on a void of white. There were also long, diagonal scars beneath your eye that he didn't notice earlier. You tilted your head almost animalistically, scrutinizing him in one quick sweep. Your eerie gaze then settled on his face, but it didn't meet his like earlier--you were looking at his gold tooth.

"How much would you give," you began in a low voice. "to have a single piece of gold?"

You stepped closer to him. He stepped back, glancing away nervously.

"i--uh--what?" he asked dumbly. Actually, who could even make sense of that anyway? Who would even _ask_ that?

"How much would you give," you took another step. "for all the riches in the entire world?"

He felt drops of magic bead his skull. "uh, listen, i don't want any trouble--"

"How much _gold_ would you give--" His back hit the end of the alley. You were _really_ close now. He felt his own magic buzz and crackle through his bones, ready to attack. It was so intense he was sure you could feel it too. Instead, your mouth curled into a cold smile, almost mockingly, and he felt something sharp and cold press against his neck.

" _For your life?_ "

His breath caught, and then released in a short cough.

"are you... mugging me?"

You blinked, obviously taken aback. The glow of your eyes disappeared, as if he had imagined it, and your cheeks darkened.

"Huh--Wh-huh??" you stammered. "That's... _why'd you ask that???_ "

He stared at you blankly, confused. His magic had fizzled out at your outburst along with the heaviness in his chest.

"that's what this is, right?" he questioned, almost as if you weren't holding a knife to his vertebrae. "a mugging?"

You blinked again as if you were trying to comprehend his words and failing. If you did this a lot, your victims probably didn't say that often for it to catch you so off-guard.

"you want monster gold--right?" That question seemed to snap you out of whatever type of trance you were in. You shook your head and scowled, trying to reclaim the intense atmosphere from a few seconds ago.

"Yes--Yes, I do, and yes, this _is_ a mugging!" you insisted, increasing the pressure of your knife against his vertebrae. "Give me all the gold you have or you can say goodbye to the Surface!"

There was an edge to your tone, but your voice cracked towards the end. The redness in your cheeks deepened, and he couldn't help but throw his head back and laugh. The tension had dissipated by now, and it had become more of an awkward encounter between strangers than a mugging.

"oh stars--i dunno what i was worried about. you're a riot," he sighed, wiping a magical tear from the corner of his eyesocket. Your face reddened in anger this time, and you puffed out your cheeks and slammed your foot down in frustration.

"Just shut up and give me your gold! I know you have some!" you demanded, but there was hardly a threat in your tone, just anger and embarrassment.

Russ laughed a little bit more, casually tucking his hands into the pockets of his hoodie despite literally being held at knifepoint.

"heheh, nah."

You were once again taken by surprise, blinking and questioningly screaming " _NAH???!_ " in his face.

"yeah, 'nah'," he chuckled. "as in nada. none. i got nothin'."

He had lost count how many times you had blinked in disbelief, as if the current situation you were in was just an illusion or a dream that would disappear if you blinked hard enough.

Suddenly, your expression steeled. You sucked in a deep breath, and because you leaned in a bit he almost thought that you were smelling him instead of inhaling a calming breath.

"You're lying." you gritted out. You had a dangerous expression on your face. He couldn't be afraid, though. As in, unable to, at least not after that reaction earlier.

"heheh, 'm not, see?" he turned out his pockets, but then three, big fat coins fell out of one of them. "oh, didn't know those were there. whoops."

If looks could kill, he'd be dust. Your foot scraped them over to your side. He saw your glare eased a little when you looked down at them.

"Got any more gold you 'didn't know about'?" you hissed.

"uh..." he patted his hands all over his coat and turned out the pockets of his sweats. "ok, i'm pretty sure that i've really got nothin' now."

A low noise emitted from you, sounding almost like a growl. You flexed the fingers of your free hand, but for some reason refrained yourself from patting him down yourself. You were a mugger weren't you? Isn't that what muggers do?

Actually, you didn't seem all that threatening to him. At least, not anymore. You just seemed like someone who needed some monster gold. It was worth a lot (A. _Lot._ ) up here, apparently, so it wasn't surprising that some people would try to take the easy way out by stealing from stinking rich monsters. He couldn't really blame you for it. Who knows, maybe you've got a lil' sibling or two to take care of at home.

" _Fine,_ " you spat after some long contemplation. "I'm getting real tired of talking to you anyway."

"if you want, we can meet here again tomorrow, or some other time."

Wait, what?

"What?" you echoed his thoughts. Upon realising his own offer, he realised that he was actually genuine about it. He knew what it was like to live a rough life. Though Sans was the one who did everything for them growing up, he knew very well the struggle. Sans had to kill, steal, and even joined the Royal Guard when he was underage just to get them by. He didn't want you to have to do that too, even though you were just a stranger to him. He just felt like you were a good person, deep down.

"yeah; we'll meet here again tomorrow, same time. i can bring more gold for you, 'm sure my... cousin's got more of 'em stashed away somewhere," he said. He knew Vanilla was freaking, hecking, _stinking_ rich. He had been able to pay for the mansion after all (and parts for the you-probably-know-what that got Russ and the others here in the first place), all thanks to a very successful hotdog stand and not paying his tab.

You were dumbfounded for a moment, and then your gaze hardened and your grip on the knife tightened. Oh, he'd forgotten about that little thing.

"You'll set me up," you hissed. Honestly, he'd think the same. It was too good to be true, after all.

"'lright, fine, somewhere else, then," he said calmly. "somewhere with a lotta people, so you can't get me and i can't get you. how's that?"

You pursed your lips, thinking about it for a moment.

"Where? When?" you asked warily.

"how 'bout grillby's?" he asked, thumbing in its direction.

" _Anywhere_ but there," you retorted.

That was kinda weird, seeing as you were there only a few minutes ago.

"uh, okay. how 'bout... muffet's?" he had just blurted that out. He had no idea if a Muffet's even existed. He was saved from embarrassment when you looked away thoughtfully.

"That could work," you mused. Your hand finally drew away with the knife, and with an expertly twirl it disappeared into the folds of your clothes. "Y'think you can meet me there, say... Saturday? 10? In the morning?"

That was too early. "sure."

"Cool." You nodded, backing away from him. Pointing at him with your index finger, you firmly said, "Be there. I can know where you live."

"what's that supposed to--" he began to say, but you were gone, almost as if you had been swallowed by the shadows.

Huh. Now he knows what it feels like. How'd you do that, anyway?

Russ shuffled out of the alleyway, scratching his skull as he pondered on why and how exactly he had made a deal with a human. He almost tripped over Vanilla on the sidewalk, who looked like he had just lost his pet dog... Oh. That was him, wasn't it?

"there ya are!" he sighed in relief. "c'mon, your bro's onto us. we gotta get back."

Russ only nodded, looking back to where the alley was. Quiet and unassuming, almost as if a strange mugging hadn't just occured.

"where'd ya go, anyway?" Vanilla asked, following his gaze. "did... did'ja go after that human?"

After thinking for a bit, he decided there wasn't really a point to keeping you a secret. Honestly, it seemed like a hassle, and he wasn't really feeling like keeping secrets at the moment.

"yeah," he admitted. He remembered your eyes, the knife, your feeble threats, the failed mugging, the deal...

He found himself chuckling at the thought of you.

"she was... interesting."

\---

"btw, can I borrow a few g?"

"sure. how many?"

"a few hundred, more or less."

**Author's Note:**

> P.S. - Idk the difference between SF Gold, Red, Purple and FS. I was away from the fandom for a bit and when I came back there were so many SF/FS variants and reverse-harems are now popular and I'm just "WHOA"
> 
> One thing I know though is that I love big bro Razz and not-flirty Russ. I think I read somewhere that popatochisps started that trend and broke the spoiled Razz and flirty Russ one? Anyway, big thank you to them if they did, I love my mother hen and soft egg.
> 
> I may or may not continue this? I'm not sure? I just left a chance for it to continue I just haven't yet. I also don't know if I may make this a shipfic I'm bad at writing romance and I kinda like Reader being friends with Russ (might make her end up with Razz instead. I love my protective Royal Guardsmonster)
> 
> Also the point of the Sans Messed Up With the Machine plot is so that I can indulge in healthy brotherly relationships. No reverse-harem here there are already so many good ones out there (also I'd be no good at writing one of those (or writing in general but I think I'm learning))
> 
> Btw if anyone knows a fic out there that is just all the four different AU bros getting along as bros please link it.


End file.
